Bend It Like Bauer

I heard through the grape vine that poop is the new pink! Whenever I hear that saying (grape vine) I think of those creepy California Rasins that sang songs, and you would get the box of their rasin in your halloween bag (why people thought as children we loved rasiens is still a mysterty too me), I felt like I was eatting those little characters out of a box.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Alright it took me awhile to find my copy of this, but lets just say if i am ever having a bad day, and I read this I laugh pretty damn hard. Leslie and I laughed alot harder when we were writing it... alot of "NO WE CANNOT NOT PUT THAT IN THERE... ALRIGHT PUT IT IN"



Ps I have also include a photo of my parnter in romantic novel crime. And it isnt the devil cat, though he loves to read those dirty novels.

The warm rain drizzled over my tight body like a smooth criminal stealing my virginity twice as it passed. It had been months since I felt so alive and sexy. The salty air danced upon my bosom as I gyrated in the white silver sand. Me and my younger, but fully developed, sister Candi were vacationing in Cancum, Mexico, where the cocks ran wild and we didn't need protection.
Some bronzed hard-bodies played Frisbee in the distance and I quivered at the thought of their good vibrations. I've always wanted a good spit-roasting and these stallions looked like prime candidates. I resisted the urge to touch myself. I'll save it for them, I moaned. Candi looked up from her pornographic magazine and smiled. I could tell that she too was noticing the extreme sexual potential of these god-like beefcakes. The sizzling sun caused their mantastic bodies to glisten orgasmically. I watched as the Frisbee slid out of the hand of one of the toned hunks and I squealed with excitement when it landed beside my sensual foot.

Where did all these male models come from? I thought to myself as they swarmed us like bumble bees on sweet, sweet honey.
"I'm Vaughan. Vaughan Alaya," the most erotic of the nine gentlemen announced as I outlined his package through his revealing swim trunks. After sizing him up, I decided Vaughan was definitely someone I wanted to get to know better.

"You stop right there. We won't remember any of this tomorrow anyways," I undressed him; this time physically, and not just with my eyes.

"Bambi, your D cups were bouncing ferociously. I've never seen anything like it," Candi winked scandalously and sucked on her straw with a force that could move a golf ball through a garden hose.
"Thanks babe. Don't worry, you're well developed, but you haven't finished growing yet. Nothing helps breast development like a good serving of pork," I assured her by running my hand up her thigh. "Vaughan was a great lay, but I'm sick of this one on one. I'm ready for a bisexual experience."

Just then, I noticed a 5'5", voluptuous brunette with artificial curves that just wouldn't quit. "Hi ladies, would you enjoy a hard, stiff drink?"
"Actually, I would prefer a muff dive, and pour one for yourself while you're at it," my words penetrated the air between us, fast, hard, and deep, finally reaching the stewardess like a warm, wet southbound kiss.

"That's an odd request, aren't you thinking outside the box," Venus batted her eyes deliciously, stimulating all my senses.
"Actually, I'm thinking inside your box."

"I'm going to go wet myself," Candi sensed the sexual tension, and strutted off to the beachside showers.
"It just so happens, I'm about to get off," Venus grabbed my hand gently and pulled me into her supple bod. She smelt like the coconuts that resided in her bikini top. Before I could get a taste, she turned and led me to the exit.

My loins burnt with the fire of a thousand burning suns. "Venus, I want Uranus."
"Can I buy you ladies a drink?" A walking mantasy with the bone structure of a Greek god interrupted sexily.

"We have plenty of drinks back at my place," Venus purred as the wild cock bowed his head in defeat. "So are you going to cum or what?"



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